Chainsaw Obsession
by garryxmrchairfan
Summary: The one day of the year they could go around scaring people with their scythes and NOT get in trouble, and NO ONE wants to hang out. Fine. He'll just go talk to the Phantomhive brat. The arrogant, haughty, cute, adorable, kinda hot Phantomhive brat. Whoops. GrellxCiel Halloween!crackfic. So OOC it's not even funny. Happy Halloween, guys. Kittyface.


**Author's Note: **Hey guys! So, a bit of a deviation from my current Disney fic, because IT'S HALLOWEEN! :D I don't actually trick-or-treat anymore (too lazy for that shit) but I really wanted to write a holiday fic. Sadly, this is the shit that I came up with. It really doesn't have anything to do with Halloween (other than I decided the night was Halloween) or even much to do with anything, in actuality. I wanted to see how bad I am at writing crack pairings, and I'm proud to say this is an absolute piece of pointless bullshit.

Here. Have a random, nonsensical GrellxCiel with mentioned-at-the-end-just-because-I-thought-about- it WilliamxSebastian crack pairing Halloween-inspired-though-it-has-nothing-to-do-wit h-the-holiday fic. I'm going to go die in a hole now and write an amazing SebaCiel Christmas fluff when December gets here. ;3;

I'd say "enjoy", but.. *awkward side-glance*

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Grell Sutcliffe stalked down the dark streets of London, heels clicking harshly in the silent night as he grumbled to himself, pulling his red coat tighter around his elbows against the chilly October air. It was Halloween, the one night that he could go out and show himself off to the mortals of the world and scare them with his beloved chainsaw and not hear about it the next day, and the redhead had been successfully ditched by _everyone_.

It just wasn't fair! Why should a lovely lady like himself be spending the most wonderful holiday night by his lonesome? There wasn't even a costume party he could go to, which etched a deeper scowl on his face, though it turned closer to a pout as he started feeling bad for himself. He could feel tears welling up in his chartreuse orbs and he grit his sharp teeth together.

Huffing, Grell rounded a corner and stopped in his tracks, squinting his blurring eyes at the small figure standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking a bit put-out from what he could see. The figure's arms were crossed over his chest and his small foot was tapping rather rapidly. When the figure turned his head to stare down the walk where the redhead was paused, Grell's tiredly curious expression fell deadpan.

Well, shit.

If it wasn't the fucking Phantomhive _brat._

Standing in the moonlight, though, Grell caught himself – as he had several times over the last several months – staring intensely at the way the boy's skin was illuminated by the iridescent lighting, seeming to glow ethereally. His visible eye shone like a sapphire, glinting enchantingly, a haughty arrogance swimming in his gaze. Standing alone, looking like he owned the place with the knowledge that nothing could touch him, he looked…

… kind of cute. Adorable, even. _Maybe _even a tad bit _hot._

For a thirteen year old.

Mentally slapping himself for his random thoughts, Grell crossed his arms and pouted at the young earl. "Out a bit late, aren't you, Phantomhive?" he sneered, trying not to blush as red as his hair when the brat simply arched a perfect eyebrow and stared at him. "Shouldn't young boys like you be in bed already?"

Uncrossing his arms and propping a fist on his hip, Ciel leered, managing to look down his nose at the redhead from that distance. "Shouldn't you be doing paperwork?" he countered, snorting. "I didn't think you'd ever get out of the office." He gazed evenly at the Death God, absently noting the soft sway of the long scarlet strands in the biting breeze and the way they caressed the Reaper's face, suddenly having to suppress the urge to go over and run his fingers through it to see if it really was as soft as it looked. The faint blush on his cheeks added yet another warm tone to his preferred color, and it complimented his appearance splendidly.

Ciel still hadn't figured out when he'd started caring about stuff like that, and it confused him even more that he only ever seemed to bother noticing it about the flamboyant redhead when he came barreling into his manor unannounced and unwanted to flirt with his butler. He'd also noticed a tightening in his gut and irritation for no reason when he watched the Death God fawn over Sebastian. Part of him had initially wondered if it were because Sebastian was _his _demon and that he just didn't like Grell touching his things, but he'd felt it again when Grell had done the exact same thing to his supervisor. And he'd finally had to admit it to himself:

He was _jealous _that Grell wasn't doing that to _him._

And he couldn't exactly fathom _why._

Grell huffed indignantly, pouting again and looking away from that piercing blue orb. "Pfft. I'm one of the best they have," he muttered, smugness leaking into his voice. "They just can't function without me!" He tossed his hair, grabbing a few strands and running them through his fingers and examined his nails, looking everywhere but at the gorgeous earl in front of him. "So, why _are _you out here, in the dark, in a creepy alleyway?" He grinned. "Are you waiting on Sebas-chan? Can I wait, too?!"

If he were being honest with himself, Grell couldn't care less whether or not the brat was actually working with his demon butler; he just wanted to be around Ciel. After having been ditched by all his friends and harshly rejected once again by his Sebas-chan, just standing and talking to Ciel was brightening his night. He bit his lip, trying desperately to control the blush he could feel on his face.

Ciel almost visibly deflated when Grell asked about his butler. He was hoping – foolishly, it seemed – that the redhead would maybe continue bantering with him; but of course he was only around for Sebastian. _Damn that demon, _he thought to himself, frowning. "No," he said harshly, probably more so than he'd intended. "I'm not waiting on Sebastian; I'm baiting our suspect to come into the open."

Grell caught the sudden lack of enthusiasm in the boy's voice and the dejected look that came over his face, and frowned to himself. "Oh, well," he said, going for light nonchalance to hopefully lighten the mood. "What kind of case are you working on?"

Ciel was a bit taken aback by the fact that the Reaper hadn't immediately scoffed and walked off to go hunt down the butler, but he decided he wasn't going to protest his presence. "Serial killer," he replied exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. "Over the last few months there's been an increase in killings of originally thought to be random victims," he explained, crossing his arms against a sudden gust of cold wind. He chuckled, thinking of the killer.

"You'd be proud of him," he said offhandedly. "His MO consists of tracking young teens, between the ages of nine and fourteen and shredding them to pieces with a chainsaw." He shivered again, though not just from the cold. "With the holiday being what it is, Sebastian and I figured he's bound to show up with all the kids that'll be out and about. He was reported to attack and operate in this particular area, so we're hoping to lure him out with the prospect of fresh, easy meat."

The redhead noticed the shivers running through the boy and walked closer, shrugging out of his coat and draping it around the boy's shoulders, feeling him stiffen at the action. "You're shivering," he stated, shrugging at the question in the boy's eye. "It won't help you catch the bastard if you die from the cold."

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Grell spoke again. "So, a chainsaw serial killer, hm?" he asked, tapping his chin. "I think we know him. He's been giving us all quite a bit of overtime with all the extra souls to be collected."

Ciel looked up at Grell, pursing his lips in thought. "Have you collected any of his victims?" he asked quietly, unable to keep his curiosity in check.

Grell glanced down and smiled. "A few," he replied, tapping his chin again. "They're almost always unrecognizable as having been human when he's done with them." He shuddered involuntarily. "I mean, death is great – beautiful, in its own way – but what he does is just…" He sighed. "At least _I _have a reason for killing my victims. This guy doesn't seem to have a real reason for mutilating the kids he kills." In an attempt to lighten the somber mood that had befallen them, he snorted and tossed his hair again. "I make death so much more desirable!"

Ciel chuckled humorlessly, tightening the jacket around his shoulders and sniffling. Instinctively, he leaned into the Reaper's warmth without consciously realizing it until the redhead stiffened at his touch, though neither he nor the Death God moved away. "Yeah, death is much more desirable when it's a Reaper," he mumbled, blushing heavily.

A few moments of silence passed when Ciel saw a dark shape moving around him from the corner of his eye. Straightening up, he glanced around, squinting into the shadows, trying to make out his surroundings.

"Well, ain't ya a cutie, hm?"

The deep, gravelly voice caused him to stiffen immediately, whipping around as he searched for the source of the voice. "Grell, can you see anything?" he asked, brow furrowed as he glanced around.

The Reaper bit his lip, moving away from the boy to look around. "Corner to your right," he said, summoning his scythe. His face twisted to one of disgust. "Ew, what an ugly mug! He shouldn't be allowed to show his face in the presence of a lady like me!"

"Talkin' to yaself, cutie?" the voice asked, overlapping with the end of the Reaper's rant and coming from his right like Grell had said. "Tha's not good. People'll think ya crazy, 'f ya do tha'."

Ciel frowned, looking over to the corner. "Grell, now is not the time for your antics and talk of being a lady," he said calmly, sniffling a bit from the cold. "Get your scythe ready, alright?"

Grell _hmph_ed, snorting, but hefted the chainsaw onto his shoulder. "Still."

"Who ya talkin' to, hm? Imaginary friend ain't gon' save ya, y'know." From the shadows to the right, a hulking shape emerged, Ciel seeing the outline of a tall man, bed hair sticking up all around his head, a white mask covering half of his face. Muscles thick as vines rippled over his arms, and Ciel's eye widened a bit at the massive weapon in his left hand, just able to make out the glint of deep, dark, sanguine blood dripping from the teeth.

Ciel simply stood his ground, repressing the repulsed shudders and glaring in the direction of the killer. "At least my imaginary friend knows how to keep his chainsaw in pristine condition," he scoffed boldly, crossing his arms. He raised an eyebrow at the man.

The man stalked towards him slowly, grinning madly. "Ya got an int'restin' 'magination, cutie," he purred, swing the chainsaw back and forth. "Can I rip it outta ya?" He gripped the weapon in both hands and revved it up.

Ciel took a step back, eyeing the weapon warily. He knew he wasn't going to get hurt or die – he had a Death God standing next to him ready to pounce, and even if Grell decided he'd rather be somewhere else, all he had to do was call Sebastian's name and the guy would be looking at his heart in a demon's hand before he could blink again. But that still didn't stop the shudder of anxiety than coursed through him.

In the next moment, the man lunged for him, raising his weapon above his head. He cackled evilly, apparently enjoying himself. "Le's see if ya as cute on tha inside as ya're on tha ou'side!" He brought the saw down, and Ciel just watched, sighing in annoyance.

Right before the blades came into contact with his head, they ground against another set, sparks flying before the Deathscythe sliced right through the man's weapon, cutting it in half. The man stood frozen, a look of shock and disbelief on his ugly face as he stared uncomprehendingly at his broken weapon.

Grell twirled his own chainsaw, revving it once again and getting the killer's attention, watching with sadistic satisfaction as the man's mug paled upon sight of another man with the boy. He grinned his shark-toothed grin, eyes shining wildly. "Now, is that any way to treat a kid on this special holiday?" he admonished playfully, stepping closer to the man, backing him into the street. "I admit, you're definitely one of the top scares _I've _ever come across; you could win a medal for that."

The man stumbled back as Grell advanced slowly, hands thrown up in front of his masked face as he eyed the beautiful red chainsaw. "P-Please…" he pleaded. "P-Please d-don't hurt me!"

Grell paused, grin falling to a frown. "Don't hurt you?" he asked, shocked. "But were not just trying to kill this boy?" His glare turned deadly and he raised his chainsaw. "How dare you?!"

He swung his scythe, the man managing to duck at the last minute and run, but the alley he went down happened to be a dead end.

"The audacity to attempt to kill and then beg for mercy!" He watched with glee as the man cowered before him. "How dare you try to kill him?!" He raised his scythe, a mad gleam in his chartreuse eyes. "How dare you try to kill MY CIEL?!" He laughed and brought the chainsaw down.

The records were nothing spectacular.

Grell didn't even bother taking notes as he let the records play, examining his scythe and playing with his hair, completely bored now that the adrenaline of the moment had subsided. He sighed when the scythe had finally collected all of the Cinematic Record, and he made sure to mark it as one of the more "dangerous and volatile" souls that was not to be reused anytime in the near _or _distant future.

Sending his scythe away, the redhead Death God walked out of the alleyway, slowly making his way back to the blue-grey-haired earl standing on the corner and watching him expectantly. After the rush of the moment, he'd recalled what he'd shouted, and he couldn't fight the blush of embarrassment that made itself a permanent feature on his face. _Gods, that must've sounded so stupid, _he thought hopelessly. _I'll be lucky he ever talks to me again after hearing that…_ He came to a halt in front of Ciel, lips pursed in a slightly worried pout.

After a moment of awkward silence on his part, Grell sighed, fiddling with his hair. "Are you alright?" he finally asked, glancing at the boy.

Ciel remained quiet, nodding his affirmation but not saying anything. He simply looked at the Reaper, playing the last few moments in his head. He was surprised that he was able to keep his emotions inside; he's was extremely happy at the moment. Happy that Grell seemed to think so much of him, that the redhead might like him almost as much as he found himself liking the flamboyant redhead. He took a deep breath, smiling faintly as he looked up at Grell and arched his brow. "Your Ciel, hm?"

Grell felt his blush heat up and he nodded sheepishly. "I-I don't know what that was," he sighed, scratching his head and chuckling nervously. "I'm sorry…" He bit his lip. Suddenly, there were arms around his waist and he was being tackled in a tight hug, almost losing his footing and falling over. Looking down, he saw a head of slate hair buried in his chest, his red coat slipping off the small shoulders. He gaped stupidly before hesitantly wrapping his arms around the smaller frame, nuzzling his nose into the soft blue-grey locks.

"Thank you for saving me," Ciel murmured, blushing nervously and nuzzling into Grell's chest. "I suppose you didn't _have _to."

Grell laughed, pushing the boy back and grabbing his chin, tilting his face to look at him. "Of course I did," he replied airily. "It's what you do when you care for someone." He smiled tenderly, looking down into that one visible sapphire iris.

Ciel stared into the bright, green-yellow orbs of the Death God in front of him, tracing his features with his eye, memorizing the gentle curve of lips and the way his hair framed his face and how far down his red glasses slipped when he looked down. Suddenly smiling mischievously, Ciel reached out and twined his fingers into the long red strands around him, tugging gently. "You know, it's Halloween," he said nonchalantly, looking at his hands covered in scarlet.

Grell raised an eyebrow and grinned, shark teeth shining. "Hm, so it is," he agreed, deciding to play Ciel's game. "What of it?"

Ciel tugged on the Reaper's hair again, feigning disinterest in the conversation. "Typically, kids like me stuff themselves with sweets and candy."

"Oh?"

"Mm. And." Ciel bit his lip, looking up again. "I haven't had any candy today."

"That's a shame."

He nodded in agreement. "It is," he conceded. "So…" He paused, letting a smirk cross his face as he leaned up towards the redhead. "I want something sweet."

Before he could respond, the Death God felt a pair of soft lips capture his and he immediately melted into the kiss. Never in his wildest imagination did he _ever _think he'd be kissing _Ciel Phantomhive. _But, _oh, _how he loved it. The boy tasted of chocolate and mint and a hint of Earl Grey, all mixing pleasantly to create the taste that was distinctly Ciel.

Ciel was experiencing something similar as he moved his lips along the redhead's. Like his fiery colors and personality, Grell's taste was spicy, hints of cinnamon with a refreshing wave of vanilla making up his essence. It was exactly the sweetness he was craving and he savored every second of it.

Pulling away after several hot moments, both gasping for air they forgot they needed, they simply smiled stupidly at one another and stared into each other's eyes. As soon as he had his breath, though, Ciel had pulled the redhead in again, and that's how they spent the good part of the next half hour: making out on a dark street in the middle of the night on Halloween. When Ciel's body threatened to finally knock him out with an asthma attack from all his hot and heavy gasping, the Reaper gathered the boy into his arms and swiftly jumped onto the roofs, making his way back to the Phantomhive manor.

"Thank you," he said quietly as he jumped from house to house.

Ciel, who'd been dozing slightly, heard and looked up with a faint smile. "What for?"

Grell grinned and placed a tender kiss on his forehead. "For spending tonight with me. I was ditched: Eric and Alan were being all lovey-dovey with the handing-out-candy shit, Undertaker and Ronnie were being creepers, and…" he trailed off, frowning. "Now that I think about it, I don't know why my darling William ditched me."

Ciel pouted at the "darling" tacked onto another man's name before raising an eyebrow. "Do you honestly think he'd have hung out with you whether he had something to do or not?"

Grell was quiet, lips pursed in silent agreement but unwilling to say so out loud.

Ciel smirked. "Mhm. Thought so." He snuggled into the Reaper's embrace, closing his eye and allowing his smirk to soften. The holiday hadn't turned out too badly.

Best Halloween ever.

. . .

When they reached the manor a short while later, both of them were not surprised to see the demon butler waiting patiently on the steps outside. They were a bit wary of the pleasant smile he had on his face, void of any of the usual cockiness or underlying fiendishness that he normally had, but they didn't think too much on it. The dark-haired Dispatch supervisor, however, standing next to him, _arm on the demon's waist_, threw them for a complete loop. It threw them so bad, Grell almost dropped Ciel in shock. And Ciel would not have been able to blame him.

Ciel gaped at his butler for two minutes before finding his voice. "Do I even _want _to know?!" He threw his hands in the air and planted his face into Grell's chest.

Grell had no words, simply rubbing the boy's back and staring with narrowed eyes at his supervisor. He smirked when his staring finally broke through and William flushed, burying his face into Sebastian's shoulder.

"Guess we weren't the only ones who went after some sweet candy tonight, hm?"

_END_

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**Author's End-note: **Please don't shoot me; I'm not ready to die! I'd apologize, but if I were sorry, I wouldn't post it to begin with. Yay, crackfiction! :S

Reviews, praises, criticisms and comments welcome. Feel free to rip me a new one. *awkward chuckle*

Happy Halloween!

**EDIT: ****DON'T FORGET TO GO VOTE IN THE POLL ON MY PROFILE AS TO WHICH DISNEY/FAIRY TALE FIC YOU'D LIKE TO SEE AFTER _MERMAID PRINCE_ **(or PM me if you'd rather see a _Hetalia _Cardverse because I'm seriously considering do one).**I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON AFTER I FINISH IT.**

Much love, if you can stand me after this. :3

~GarryxMrChairFan


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